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"...and it was in this SHIRE that the hobbit Frodo BAGGINS was given the Ring of POWER while SIMULTANEOUSLY battling with the GOO-GOO DOLLS of MIDDLE EARTH high above the trees that actually were NOT trees but were kind of MEN who looked like SLY STONE from Sly and the Family Stone and who ventured FORTH leaving bloated old BILBO back in the CRAP PALACE he lived in far beyond the terrible awful ORCS who were CONSTIPATED UNHAPPY and then onward, onward, onward toward TIGHT PONY TAILED Gandalf the Grey (because good god that long grey hair should be enough to protect us from all the enemies) and then the ONE RING, the ONE RING and GONDOR and the FELLOWSHIP and the LAVA and IS SEAN ASTIN'S MOTHER REALLY PATTY DUKE? although there is MY PRECIOUS and all the hideousness of the MINES OF MORIA not to mention HOW HAIRY OUR BIG ASS FEET ARE!," he says before we hit him over the head with a hammer.
3 comments:
Since I know nothing of Lord Of The Rings, I will just sing, "But, they're cousins, Identical cousins and you'll find, they laugh alike, they walk alike, at times they even talk alike. You can lose your mind, when cousins are two of a kind."
And I am not THAT old. They just had the Patty Duke reruns on all the time when I was a little girl. I was infatuated with 2 identical cousins with different accents and I thought it would be the coolest thing to find your unknown twin and then Lindsay Lohan reinvented that sort of lost identical and I still thought it was cool until she ended up being a jacked up skanky crack whore and now I realize that having a long lost twin might screw you up big time.
And I know that has nothing to do with what we were talking about. So, sorry...
Is that little apple shaped rainbow at the bottom of the photo subliminal advertising for Apple? Have Cooper and Steve Jobs been breaking lembas and quaffing Ent-draught?
That's The Ring. Now go shave your toes, you silly.
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