Tuesday Expert Advice

Dear Cupcake,

I've been using Facebook for about a year and I've noticed that there are some buttons missing.  I get the Like and Share buttons.  I use those a lot---just to give a shout out to my FB homies if you know what I mean.  But I was wondering if you knew where the following buttons are because I cannot find them:

*You and your partner are late stage alcoholics and should go to the emergency room
*Unjustifiably Conceited
*Do you think you'll ever stop?
*I doubt your story
*It seems like you practice your smile in the mirror
*Thank you for showing me how petty and judgmental I am
*Loathe
*Too much nose hair
*Cornball, About To Unfriend

Do I need to download a specific app in order to get these to work or should I just get goin' on my feedback in the comment section?
---Eagerly Waiting To Offer Input In Ypsilanti

Dear Input,
No.
Good luck,
Cupcake