Monday Judgements and Warnings

I don't gamble and I've never been in a knife fight but if I were forced to choose sides and ready myself for battle I think I could do it.

I think I could rile myself up enough with a bunch of violent-ishey affirmations--- like how those poor little half dozen soldiers who listened to that We Few, We Happy Few! speech from Henry V---I could do it. I could put my armor on and stand, more serious than any serious that has ever been serious (like as serious as when you hit Reply All by mistake--THAT FUCKING SERIOUS) and stare at myself in the mirror and get all up in my own face and then grab my sword and march onto the battlefield and say my Hail Mary Chapin Carpenters and then go CHARGING!, like a righteous and self-obsessed very uptight bull into battle, screaming:

GIVE ME CANTALOUPE OR GIVE ME DEATH! as I slay each and every Honeydew Soldier who is unfortunate enough to cross my path.

Serious Times Call For Serious Measures,
Betty Battlecry