Friday Conclusion

The other day I was listening to an iPhone commercial and at the very end the cheery voice said:
IF YOU WANT TO SHARE YOUR APP WITH A BUM
and I thought Wow, that's  kinda bizarre  and it turns out the voice actually said:
IF YOU WANT TO SHARE YOUR APP WITH A BUMP
Ooooooh. OK that makes sense. Phew.

Then, as I was going about my business in the morning earlier this week, I heard the morning newscaster say:
NEXT: THE LATEST UPDATE ON THAT TRAGIC BUTT CRACK IN RIVERSIDE
and I thought What the hell?! and it turns out the newscaster actually said:
NEXT: THE LATEST UPDATE ON THAT TRAGIC BUS CRASH IN RIVERSIDE
Well OK, that's more like it.

Also, yesterday, when I was looking at something on my Droid, an ad flashed across the screen that was promoting:
BAKED CHEESY PANTS
and I was all Oh now, come ON!
But upon further inspection it became clear that it said:
BAKED CHEESY PASTA
Right! Got it.


Plus, this afternoon, right before I was about to watch my recorded Ina Garten where she cooks a romantic dinner for Jeffrey for their 40th wedding anniversary, there was a commercial for Kashi and I distinctly heard them say:
MADE WITH WHOLE BRAINS
Oh for cryin' out loud! I thought
But then I realized they said:
MADE WITH WHOLE GRAINS
Um, yeah! That makes total sense.

Which brings me to my point and my conclusion:

IF YOU'RE GOING TO SURVIVE THIS CONFUSING OBSTACLE COURSE CALLED LIFE, YOU'D BETTER GET YOURSELF A HELMET

Beggy pardon,
Helen Hard of Hearing