I know you think I bark too much and I have absolutely NO self control when it comes to cheese, rolling in worms and licking my own behind and that I act like a maladjusted water buffalo any time a fly comes within five hundred yards of me but if you could (I know this might not be possible because you have a lot on your plate for chrissakes) would you kindly make an effort to influence my pack mates with opposing thumbs to remember to hurl things for me whenever they aren't yelling at the television or complaining about how confusing their cell phone bill is praise be to your glory and of course it goes without saying that this is between us, amen.
4 comments:
Srsly woman, you make it IMPOSSIBLE to leave a comment, you are so damn smart.
Cooper wrote this. And just because he talks about licking his own butt does not mean he is a Mensa Member.
Dear Cooper,
Opposable, not opposing. That sounds like your pack mates spend all their time thumb wrestling. Which they may, and would explain why you need to ask He Who Bestoweth All Goodness In The Form of Cheese to get them to throw stuff for you more often.
Cooper does not write. He sends his thoughts to me using his telepathetic powers and I type his massage using my opportunistic thumbs.
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