It may or may not surprise you to know that I have come face to face with The Person In Charge and it may or may not surprise you that I am putting you all on High Stage Persimmon-Burnt Sienna-Orange Scary Person Alert because this gal means business and this gal drives a big, bad, (kind of tiny) BUT LOUD, VERY LOUD 1920 Honda Civic with the entire left side completely caved in as if the entire nation of Senegal plowed into it and she darts in and out of traffic like a hornet ---she DARTS! and changes lanes and slams on her brakes and gives dirty looks and darts more in and out of traffic--- EVEN WHEN THERE IS NO TRAFFIC-- she honks and flips people off like other people say Hi How Are You I'm Fine and she holds her cigarette out the window and hunches over the steering wheel like Travis Bickle and sneers and just when you think she cannot be more Large and In Charge in her miniature, snarly two-door she flies by you in a cloud of exhaust and you catch a glimpse of her license plate and it says:
SHARKL8Y
with the words Hello Officer, Put It On My Tab framing it and you think, um, you'll just keep your mouth shut for now and allow The Lady to pass because you know full well that in all the battles of your life there are those that might be worth losing.
Yours in forfeiture and awe,
Peggy Pipsqueak
2 comments:
As my Pa used to say, "It's hard to battle an unarmed man." She maybe dimwitted but the AK47 she had on the seat next to her was a pretty good reason for you to let her on by.
Never mess with someone that has a vanity plate. That includes the entire State of New Hampshire, where no actual numbered plates exist.
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