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Monday, October 25, 2010

Monday Judgements and Warnings

I know there's a lot going on, people but may I remind you of some VERY IMPORTANT things to keep in mind:

1. The Judds
2. Their bangs
3. All the schmaltzy, barfnanimous hoo-ha about faith
4. FALSE PROMISES THAT THEY ARE GOING AWAY FOREVER...AGAIN...FOR THE NINE HUNDREDTH TIME
5. Love Will Build a Bridge ---- TO HATE
6. Square dancing skirts and boots and Hepatitis C or B or L or Whatever Letter Stands for Live Throughout All Eternity
7. Linebacker shoulders and stuff like "God bless ya"
8. Botox up the poop chute

Boo howdy,
Lone Cowboy Critical

6 comments:

duffylou said...

Wynonna was on Joy Behar's show promoting the new gig. Wyn was all dolled up in her fake extensions and dual layer spray tan. Why, she even had the industrial whitening done on her toofs. I needed shades.

I guess she really wants to make sure she's all geared up for that Encore Farewell Tour.

Hilary said...

I love your blog....you crack me up.

Joann Mannix said...

what must it be like to have a mother half the size of you with a prettier, frozen face? And yes! What is with all these celebrities and their fatal diseases and living life all healthy and such for all eternity. Is there a pill these celebrities take? A No Harm Will Come To Those Of Us In Fairyland, pill? Because, I want some of that!

Meg at the Members Lounge said...

You forgot their clear addiction to beta carotene. Not to mention they hate each other.

The Zadge said...

I sat next to Wynonna in an airport - she was a 4 foot square box on top of 2 legs, was sporting a short sleeved Hawaiian shirt, and pancake makeup. Yowza!

Tinalicious said...

Botox up the poop chute. CLASSIC.