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Tuesday, October 26, 2010

The Cupcake Lessons

I have been furiously at work in my laboratory and have surfaced briefly to provide my latest notes and findings on my ground breaking, revolutionary and relatively unsettling Cracker Research 2010:

1. WASA "bread" moniker seems to be cause of systemic identity confusion
2. Ak-Maks continue to exhibit sociopath behavior---too much like cardboard?
3. Wheat Thins: only solution---complete and total isolation (they DO NOT see themselves as crackers) **ELITISTS (make sure to address the constant requests for extra towels and special water)
4. RyCrisp mass depression appears to coincide with CheezIts proliferation
5. Search and rescue: Goldfish (an entire generation---under car seats)

Over and out,
Major Munchette


Twisted Susan said...

Everything's better when it sits on a Ritz.

Meg at the Members Lounge said...

I just examined the pantry and found the Lu flatbreads had gone all Defcon 5 and tragically splintered, while the Sesame Lavash's are holding their own.

Cupcake Murphy said...

You said Defcon 5.