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Monday, May 3, 2010

Monday Judgements and Warnings

This evening, when I walked into my kitchen I saw Kosher Salt flash a switchblade and get all up in Sea Salt's business.

Kosher Salt was screaming You are going DOWN Sissy Man-with-the-Van-Gogh-painting-on-your-container!

Sea Salt was cracked out and kept going JEW---I will CUT YOU! in a crazy baboon way.

Then a full on riot broke out and before I knew it all that was left was a container of orange garlic spread and a jar of Worcestershire and Mister Cupcake and Cooper and I were just huddled next to our new IKEA lamp in the corner praying for our safety and for the promise of a new sunrise.

Keep an eye on your condiments people. They aren't as innocent as you might think.


The Zadge said...

O - M - G : who would have thought you could trump "Louis = Harriet Tubman?" But, as much as I love my Sea Salt, I've got to give it to the Kosher Condiment....serious fighters.

Meg at the Members Lounge said...

My mustards have their own shelf in the fridge. Not allowed to mingle with the rest of the riff-raff.

Joann Mannix said...

I found you through a fellow blogger and I am so crackin' up glad I did!

I'm in the Jew's corner. It's bigger, has a little more bite to its bark and it just can slay a baked potato with some olive oil and parmesan cheese.

Although, I'll bet you my truffle salt could take them both down with one hand tied behind her earthy back.

Cupcake Murphy said...

Shhhhh! Don't even SAY Truffle Salt. Just typing it I know MY ASS IS GRASS!!

Joann Mannix said...

I couldn't comment back to your comment because you have your no reply tab on in your profile so I'm stomping back over here to say, no, you made ME weep profusely with The Harriet Tubman line which I have been quoting to all my peeps of the planet.

Fanfreakintastical! I can't wait to read more.

Charli said...