If I could I would assure you that everything is going to be okay and I'd take your hand and we'd stroll along the boulevard and gab about how no matter how cute you think your outfit is on a certain day that ten years later if you saw that outfit you'd think you looked like Kelly McGillis from Top Gun and want to shoot yourself and we'd laugh and smile and have a good ol' time...
There is this situation with this penny pinching semi-homemade whorelita Sandra Lee who changes her kitchen curtains every day and I must tell you: IT DOES NOT LOOK GOOD, PEOPLE. In fact, it looks VERY VERY BAD.
You could tell yourself that things will be doable. That WE CAN DO IT. That we'll get through this together but then you'd only be fooling yourself---LIKE 99 CENT STORE FOOLING YOURSELF--- because when you turn on the TV and you see this lady with the can opener talkin' 'bout Tablescapes and her new "Put a Stick In It Mocktail" you'd realize we're all hosed.
Beulah B. Otch