You know that creepy Big Brother narrator of every move that everyone makes on Facebook? This is what mine said when I looked last:
Amy used the word "bejeezus" today at 7:13 p.m. even though she hates this word. She's such a faker
Amy started to get a pit in her stomach at 9:43 p.m. thinking about something scary
Amy has "one friend" on Facebook because she is technologically challenged and has never actually used iTunes but no one knows this
Amy sometimes acts friendly to people she wishes would leave her alone and we think this is disengenuous
Amy felt completely and totally gleeful when she noticed that there were two chocolate covered graham crackers left
Amy is very fearful of getting constipated and she thought about this from 8:12 to approximately 8:14 a.m.
Just kidding.
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