Blog has moved, searching new blog...

Saturday, November 22, 2008

And Furthermore, Things I'm Terrified Of = True

6. Home invasion robbery
7. Female Pattern Balding
8. Not pooping in the morning before I go to work
9. Catching a gang banger tagging our house or the house next to us in the middle of the night when I take Cooper out for his 3:00 AM pee.
10. That my dad didn't know we were there when he was dying
11. Mom jeans
12. Flesh eating bacteria
13. Being trapped in the bathroom when an ex-employee goes postal
14. Bears
15. Getting old
16. Nuclear war
17. Russell Crowe's paunch
18. Bears that Brangelina might adopt
19. Scary little men who drive souped up Nissan Sentras that are 2 inches off the ground and sound like revved up chihuahuas with music blasting so loud that my husband screams from the living room, "Did you say something, lovey?" when they drive by
20. Being homeless
21. Overly friendly waiters and waitresses who say "Hi, my name is Tiffany and I'll be taking care of you this afternoon." (describing Arctic Char = extra terrifyscary)
22. Splinters, hangnails, paper cuts, ear wax build-up
23. Axl Rose
24. 3rd Street Promenade: insane kamikazi birds, weirdo giant silver men who don't move, aggressive hungover pseudo homeless surfers who smile one minute and act like Crazy Killer punching persons the next, jean size at American Eagle.
24. Standard Poodles, obviously

All For Now,
Grumpy Grumperson

No comments: