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Monday, May 4, 2009

The Cupcake Lessons

Different Ways Of Being

1. How To Be a Rabble Rouser:

If you see a yacht sized Hummer almost bash into the back of an old lady in an '86 Mazda, speed up as fast as you can and give the Hummer driver your ALL TIME dirtiest look so that afterward, whenever the Hummer driver sees a Mazda, any old person or someone that is making a sneering face so unattractive and scary they look like Marv Albert, he weeps like a baby.

2. How To Be a Renegade:

Turn your Sonicare toothbrush off before it goes off automatically.

3. How To Think Outside The Box:

In a meeting, completely out of the blue, go "What box?" REALLY LOUDLY and see how people react.

4. How To Be a Risk-Taker

Take risks and keep a list of these risks and then take the List Of Risks Taken (or you can name it Risk List, it's up to you, maybe THAT is your first risk, to actually decide on the name of your risk list) --- so, take the list with you into your day and when you feel your inner nervous nelly starting to rear her ugly worried head take out the list to remind yourself that you are indeed a Risk Taker. Try not to confuse this list with your Action Item list (totally different).

5. How To Be a Rough Rider

Say "howdy parDner" (not parTner) often and wear chaps. If anyone questions you about this, take out your Risks Taken List and waive it around for a while. Then spit.

Go forth and plunder,
Professor Puddle


feefifoto said...

I click my electric toothbrush on and off every few seconds so I don't have to experience the zzzt-zzzt-zzzt signal when it hits 30 seconds.

Found you through Bossy. I'm subscribing to your feed.

Cupcake Murphy said...

feefifoto: The way you take charge of the zzzt-zzzt is 100% rabble-rouser/risk taker and I'm going to use that strategy from now on. Thanks for finding me through Bossy. I love her.