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Monday, May 25, 2009

Monday Judgements and Warnings

If you see this couple, try to avoid them. They are a real downer. I happened to be standing next to them at Home Depot where we (them and me) were both looking for pruners. Except they were looking for a ROSE pruner. There's a big difference.

"Those aren't for roses," he said, severely.

"Ok, ok. Um...let's see. What about these?" she suggested.

"NO. They don't say Rose anywhere."

"Ok. Um. I can't reach. Can you help me reach? Here, these say rose. Does that say rose? Yeah, yeah, there it is right there: R.O.S.E."

"I don't think so. What about the ones to the right," he said, pointing to the little bin 67 feet above them.

Just then one of the plastic encased 2 ounce pruners fell and hit him on the head.


"Sorry. I'm sorry."

"OW! OOOWWWWW. JEZUS! Am I bleeding? I think I'm bleeding."

"Um, no, no, you're not bleeding. I don't see any blood."

Silence. Staring. I felt trapped yet riveted.

"That REALLY hurt. MAN!--that hurt."

For a moment, I contemplated offering to call an ambulance. For her.

After several seconds of seething hatred from him (Head Wound) toward her (Vicious Killer) they eventually charged off toward Rugs.

God help her if she doesn't know the difference between jute and sisal, I thought.

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