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Friday, July 10, 2009

Friday Conclusion

When we lived in Venice, there was a neighborhood guy who had two dogs that riled Cooper to the point of mind boggling hysteria. These were the only dogs Cooper acted like this with and Mister Cupcake and I would bow our heads in shame as we BEGGED Cooper to get a hold of himself and stop making fools of all of us.

The irony is that this man acted as a kind of mentor when we first got Cooper. Before Cooper started expressing himself the way dogs do. He'd glide by our house and ask how Cooper The Pup was doing and often give us advice about crating and feeding and walking and pooping and peeing. Like the Dog Whisperer except with a very thick industry vibe. And all the while, Cooper was not tall enough to see over the ledge on the porch, in order to catch a glimpse of the two dogs this man owns who look like miniature versions of Jabba the Hut. So when Cooper grew taller and was able to look these little fat men in the eyes the first thing he shrieked was WHO ARE THOSE BULBOUS CREATURES WHO HAVE FACES LIKE PETER LORRE?! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD MAKE THEM GO AWAY!

Which put the whole group of them off---this man and his dogs.

It got to the point where everywhere we went we'd end up running into them and the man would look at us with that look that people give parents who have children that are melting down and sometimes he'd even yell at Cooper like he was The Elephant Man. We'd see him coming for MILES away. Here they come, we'd say, Quick let's duck into this shoe repair shop. Oh we loathed him.

So, when we moved to Santa Monica one of the things we missed least (aside from the crack dealers and the occasional vomiting pedestrian) was The Taunting Industry Guy and His Two Thug Dogs that turned Cooper into a nut job. At last we were free. Until we met The Unassuming Nice Neighbor Guy and His Two Boxers that drive Cooper completely MAD. Like Joan Crawford in Mommie Dearest when she discovers the wire hangers---just totally undone. The boxers are coming, we'll say, hurry! cross the street!

Which brings me to my point and my conclusion:

WHEREVER YOU GO, THERE YOU ARE.

Yours in liverlicious treats,
The Lady With the Leash

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