Dear Cupcake,
I'm writing to you in a last ditch effort to get help in a situation that very well may be hopeless. My husband and I have sought assistance from the ACLU, Gloria Allred and our local Congressman, to no avail, and having exhausted all of our known resources we are currently living under a freeway overpass. The stark truth of our life is that we did not like the movie Avatar. I REPEAT: WE DID NOT LIKE THE MOVIE AVATAR (a therapist suggested that we say this out loud as much as possible in an attempt to take the gas out of the planet explosion it will most likely manifest)and because of this---WE DID NOT LIKE AVATAR AND ACTUALLY THOUGHT IT WAS BORING AND STUPID---our life is in shambles. We're writing you, NOT for you to try to talk us into why we SHOULD like the movie Avatar, WE DID NOT LIKE THE MOVIE AVATAR AND ONE OF US ACTUALLY FELL ASLEEP WHEN WE RENTED THIS MOVIE, we wanted to know if you think it is better for us to move to a Goat Farm in Slovenia or if we should just turn ourselves in to the authorities at our local police department and accept our life sentence as loathsome outcasts?
---Freaked Out and Flatulent in Fulton
Dear Flatulent,
No.
Good luck,
Cupcake
8 comments:
Gasp! Say it isn't so!! Avatar was awesome. If you don't agree, you should get thee to the goat farm.
Believe me. We were as shocked and dismayed at ourselves as you are.
I didn't like Avatar either. In fact, I didn't like it so much that I never even went and saw it!
I didn't even like the commercials.
i'm saying this quietly. I didn't like Avatar, either. But, I don't like hot dogs, American's favorite food, so perhaps I should move to under the interstate, too.
Thanks! For those of us living underground, scared for our lives. scared that we may have to finally pay the price for "Fucking hating Avatar" that you and yours so casually "out us". Thanks! We were hiding for a reason. This sets us "fucking haters" back into the closets, garages, and alley ways! I hope you can live with yourself!
Signed,
James Cameron can suck my dogs balls and make a really boring movie about it.
I boycott the king of the world. That goes for Titanic, too.
"James Cameron Can Suck My Dog Balls" should be a book.
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