This morning, as I ran out the door to work (I wasn't actually running, it was more like I was lumbering along in a quagmire of sleepy nauseated anxiety) but as I was about to leave I remembered that I had VOWED to myself that I would start eating a healthy breakfast FOR THE LOVE OF GOD how many times do I have to hear this wisdom advice before I believe it? and as I thought this I swiped an avocado from the avocado thing-dish-holder on top of the microwave and then---after I had been at work for a bit---I decided that I was going to eat my avocado.
So I scurried into the OTHER KITCHEN on the OTHER SIDE of the building. As if I were in Macy's in the Teen department and then I crossed over into the Large Lady Living department and I rooted through the drawers in the OTHER UNKNOWN-ISH KITCHEN confounded by all the foreign mysteriousnous of this kitchen I rarely spend time in although there were some things that made me feel at home like the signs about washing your own freaking dishes and such and eventually I was able to find a nice paper plate with little lavender flowers on it that was the absolute perfect size for my avocado and as I was about to slice into my healthy breakfast I thought I should share half of this and I quick like a stealthy Prius shot down the hall and asked my co-worker if she would be game to share half of my avocado---no strings attached--- and she said ABSOLUTOMUNDO! so I ran back to my cutting station after acquiring a REAL BUTTER KNIFE from my co-worker who was about to be the recipient of a NICE HEALTHY BREAKFAST GIFT (she just produced it Houdini-like from her drawer; that's just the type of miracle worker she is) and I cut my avocado, salted it using one of those little dwarfish paper cube salt things and after delivering my Avocado Gift to my knife lender and fellow avocado lover I went back to my desk and enjoyed the most perfect avocado I think anyone of earth has ever enjoyed. It was sheer and utter ambrosia in consistency and color and taste. It was as if it was here to teach me that having breakfast is very worthwhile.
So I had that going for me.
And if that wasn't enough, after I finished my perfect avocado feast, I was looking in my wallet for the Bed, Bath and Beyond receipt that had the Vornado fan on it that broke---I found an EXTRA Menchie's frozen yogurt frequent purchaser ticket-card thingy with two punches in it! so right before I went to lunch while I was standing with my dear friend and co-worker at the elevator I DASHED back over to the butter knife lender avocado lover and left the Menchie's card on her desk and I envisioned her face lighting up with joy when she saw it and I knew that whatever one might say about me one could never say that I am not thoughtful and that I do not savor the small yet gigantic everyday joys of life. Which brings me to my point and my conclusion:
THERE IS NO GOOD GOD DAMN REASON THAT FRIDAYS CANNOT BE FILLED WITH ELEGANCE AND GRACE