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Sunday, March 8, 2009

Sunday Share = True

There is an amazing scene in The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button that has stuck with me that illustrates so beautifully that particular thing in life labeled "random". As a Worrier, I thought it was incredibly comforting. You see, when one is afflicted with the Worrier Gene, one's wish/desire/hope/wolverine-like drive, is to control things so nothing awful happens and this, one realizes (sometimes quickly, sometimes long and hard-ly)is futile. Although, in the Worrier Mind, nothing should be futile about trying to keep everyone safe and sound and content.

What happens in the movie is the main character is describing one terrible event that happens and he describes everything that happens in concurrance with that event and you are kind of guided through a process of all these other elements that have culminated in a specific event happenning and as I watched this I realized JUST HOW FUTILE trying to control anything is because THERE IS SO MUCH.

It is not that this thought had not dawned on me before. Oh no, no, no---I have grappled with letting go and acceptance all my life. I was just so pleasantly surprised at how elegantly and simply this scene captures a big thing---the infinity quality of how each little action contributes to an outcome and that the gigantic web all of us are weaving has its own cosmic pattern and that pattern might be called The Sum Of All Humankind. And it is so intensely out of my clinging grasp.

So, I liked that movie. Who would have thought it would render in me that happy knowing feeling. Happy that I had a realization that inched me ever so slightly toward knowing (again, after I'd forgotten for the 90 millionth time in one day) that the whole of life is about letting go and being wherever I am when I am and that it is as simple as this---all I can do is tend my own garden and do my best to make sure it is not covered over with too much grief or worry or sadness so the ground can be cleared away to make way for sun and rain. Well, that, and avoid Standard Poodles, obviously.

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