Today I received a scary pop-up warning on my computer screen that said:
OPRAH'S FLAT STOMACH RULE: OBEY NOW!
I wanted to ask you a couple of things about this. First, I don't know if you've seen Oprah lately but her stomach is more, like, UNflat or how should I say?---the complete opposite of flat so this confused me, needless to say. Then I remembered that if Oprah tells you to OBEY her, you pretty much have no choice, right? So, that's the first portion of my question.
The second portion of my question is---just say I do NOT obey Oprah and I make the courageous decision to go it on my own---just my stomach and me. Will she and Gayle King track me down and kill me?
---Permanently Wrinkled From Worry In Reseda