Little did I know that today would be the day that my heart would open larger and I would develop more compassion for my fellow man.
It's true.
I used to think that anyone who chose to drink Diet Coke was mentally ill.
I used to look at them, guzzling their Andy Gump flavored beverage and secretly question their judgement.
But today I had an INEXPLICABLE craving for it. I don't know why or how or what the hell happened. All I know is I had to have it, went to Smart and Final and bought it, brought it home and drank it and discovered what all the bloated fuss is about:
DIET COKE LEAVES A SOAPY/BATTERY TASTE IN YOUR MOUTH WHILE AT THE SAME TIME SENDING A MESSAGE TO YOUR BRAIN THAT THE ONLY THING THAT WILL GET RID OF THE SOAPY/BATTERY TASTE IS MORE DIET COKE
THAT is why there are so many 10 AM Diet Coke Drinking Junkies so now instead of thinking--- I bet they don't realize that soda has more salt than a roast pork ---I will look at them with great compassion and maybe offer them a piece of delicious Wintermint Orbit gum.
Sincerely,
Parchy Parcherson
Parchtown USA
5 comments:
I drink at least one Diet Coke every day. Everybody makes fun of me for doing so, but I really don't care. I love Diet Coke. With ice. Lots and lots of ice.
I always knew you were a communist.
I have a Sprite about every 10 years and pay for it for the next 10 years. Dang carbonation..
I drink Diet Coke with Lime*** Daily. I struggle to limit myself to one can a day.
***The guys I work with say that the Diet Coke with Lime tastes like silver polish. While Diet Coke is likely to grow feet of its own and walk away, the stuff with lime never goes missing.
I am not kidding when I tell you all that I am still thirsty from that Diet Coke I had yesterday.
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