Dear Cupcake,
Sometimes when my husband and I go camping I worry that bears will eat us. I know this is silly but I was thinking that a good way to ensure our safety would be to take along Senator Jefferson Beauregard Sessions, III because he scares the crap out of me and I'm thinking he'll have the same effect on the bears. (See attached photo; he's fucking scary.)
Do you think this is a smart idea and, if so, do you think we should hide Senator Sessions in our tent as a decoy OR should we be proactive and tell him the bears have been overheard referring to themselves as Wise Latinas and then just cut the mad man loose?
---All Clogged Up With Concern In Lompoc
Dear Clogged,
No.
Good Luck,
Cupcake
3 comments:
If you didn't hate America so much, bears wouldn't want to eat your Socialist union loving ass.
You are.
Would you even trust him with the bears?
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