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Monday, July 19, 2010

Monday Judgements and Warnings

I'm not a religious person but JUST SAY I'M TOTALLY WRONG and when I die I'm going to be loaded onto a bus with the destination: Heaven---Possibles and then be corralled into a pen with other well-meaning worriers where I will wait until my name is called at which time I will be paraded in front of the Big Boss and asked a series of questions about HOW I managed to talk my best friend into forging my father's signature in order to ditch 80% of 7th grade and WHY I chose to NOT pay so many parking tickets and WHAT I was thinking when I lied to my neighbor about my elderly dog peeing on her front lawn and WHEN was I going to admit that I adored Kenny Loggins to my closest confidants and, frankly, I will not know what to say other than I did the best I could, I avoided playing Farmville on Facebook and AT EVERY OPPORTUNITY I assisted a wayward senior citizen.

My fear is that all of this will be overlooked HOWEVER the focus will be on the fact that I betrayed my code of ethics by day after day after day using those hideous emoticon smiley faces against my better judgement and BECAUSE OF THIS, I anticipate, I will never be forgiven.

Let the chips fall where they may,
Penelope Purgatory

6 comments:

The Zadge said...

OMG - was listening to "Angry Eyes" on itunes while reading this. :O
See you on the bus Penelope!

linlah said...

If there really is a place called Possibles that's where I'd get off, it's the stop right before Heaven.

Joann Mannix said...

I am whispering when I say this punk rock girl liked herself some Kenny Loggins.

I do believe that the LOL'ers will also be banished from the pearly gates.

I'm coming for you with my big spotlight on soon here, in the next week or whenever I can conquer my laundry.

Joann Mannix said...

Let me clarify: Kenny's old stuff like Vahevala and Celebrate Me Home not Footloose. Because that would be just all sorts of bad.

Cupcake Murphy said...

Keep The Fire.

Joan Cairns said...

Anyone who does not terrorize their facebook "friends" with farmville or that mafia game will go straight to heaven. You can guess where the "players" will go.
Yep, they will be asking for ice to cool their burning arses. I have it on good intel that hell is almost as hot as Redlands.