On days that seem kinda gloomy or that seem to have that Essence Of Barf to them that inevitably create moments (possibly hours) that make me feel like pole vaulting into the dumpster next to the parking garage at work where I could snuggle in and meditate or organize my wallet until the authorities come to find me---on days such as this I employ a very crafty Mind Trick that works like a charm because Number One: It is silent and Number Two: It is swift.
What I do is I picture my thoughts as unruly little daisies and then I gather them around me like a little Poo Day Bouquet and I picture myself as a very wise gardener and I think upon my challenges and my struggles and just when I think I have it badder than bad and I can't find any alternative other than having a really big yard sale prior to moving into the Motel 6 on Pico I take a deep breath and I think this thought:
AT LEAST I'M NOT BOWSER FROM SHA-NA-NA
And within moments I regain my composure and I move onward, swiftly up the mountain.
See You At the Finish Line,
Coach Carl P. Crackpot
8 comments:
OMG! Found you through Joann! I can't believe you have the same thoughts on Bowser as me! You've seen him on those Time Life infomercials right? I'm obsessed with those things (it's the title of my blog!) He needs a new shirt and he needs to pull his pants up. If you've seen the infomercial, you'll see what I'm talking about. And his co-host Julie looks unhappy to be standing next to him. I asked my husband one day, "Do you think Julie Lancaster thinks Bowser smells bad?"
Thank you for giving me an outlet to verbalize those feelings on Bowser this morning! :)
I totally need to use your crafty mind trick on my poo days! 'Bout time I figured out a practical purpose for Bowser. *wink* Glad to have found your blog via Joann's blog.
I have ALWAYS gotten the dry heaves when I am unfortunate enough to catch a glimpse of Bowser.
When Bowser holds his lame-ass bicep up, I feel the earth tilt on it's axis.
I'm sneaking out from underneath my writing rock for a tiny break. I just wanted to say, I feel the same way about John Tesh.
John Tesh. I'm just typing his name to try to get over my aversion. And then, of course, we should just put it on the table so we can move on: YANNI.
Cecelia: yes I've seen those beyond hideous infomercials. He is oily and bath gooey.
you are ridiculously hilarious and if I don't get off your blog now and get some work done, I'll seriously be here all day.
Thanks for stopping by my blog so I can find yours!
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