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Monday, August 9, 2010

Monday Judgements and Warnings

If you happen to be unfortunate enough to cross the path of some know-it-all acquaintance who goes to the mat with you on the gas inducing quality of cucumbers and they maniacally cite that older than the hills You-Burn-More-Calories-Chewing-Them argument like some crazed gastrointestinal trivia obsessed hyena just keep your cool, take a sip of your lemon water and state very calmly but with confidence:

NO. THAT'S CELERY. NOW, I'M SORRY BUT I REALLY MUST BE GOING.

You've got to draw the line somewhere,
Vera of The Vigilant

5 comments:

Dazee Dreamer said...

Gosh, now I'm hoping that happens so I can use that response. Thanks

Joann Mannix said...

I hate those people. And their flavorless vegetables. And their healthy truths like they are some flavorless expert. Do they not understand eating is SUPPOSED to be succulent? Puritanical eaters are just wrong. Wrong.

Not to be a creeper, but I might have mentioned you AGAIN at the Red Dress Club today. I am no creeper, by the way. Nor am I a puritanical eater.

The Zadge said...

Or you could just wave a big Hot Italian sausage in their face and say, "Put this in your peace pipe and smoke it."

Cecelia Winesap said...

These know it all veggie people need to be taught a lesson. Good for you! :)

Meg at the Members Lounge said...

Shouldn't they puree those veggies into a lovely, tasteless smoothie for themselves?