If you think you have a steely spirit and you can withstand a lot of hooha and rigmarole and In Your Facey Faceness like you're Linda Hamilton in Terminator 2---I can appreciate that. I really can. But what I want you to do in order to prove your 100% Sanity and 130% Courage is I want you to get up off your big fat ass right now and go into the kitchen and rummage around in your This-Is-Where-I-Keep-My-Zip-Lock-Bags-and-Reynolds-Wrap-and-Parchment-Paper-and-Kitchen-String-and-Extra-Coffee-Filters-and-Random-Crap drawer and I want you to pull out the PLASTIC WRAP...and I want you to GET IN THE RING WITH THAT BAD MOTHER EFFER and I want you to tell me who wins.
And THEN I want you to look me in the eye and tell me that you're strong.
All we are is dust in the wind,
Mildred Moxie
5 comments:
Oh, how fun! This is like a new-and-improved Rock, Paper, Scissors!
Wait. You mean some people actually put their stuff in a drawer??
/goes to move crap from behind microwave and coffee pot...
The only fair fight as far as plastic wrap is concerned would be if it had to pair off against clear packing tape. Another tool of the devil. They both defeat me.
Tonight, this very night, I battled it out with some new kind of saran wrap called Magic Wrap or some shiteous name like that. I fought the Magic Wrap and The Magic Wrap won. That sticky crap made me scream out in anguish as it wrapped itself around my hand instead of the 13X9 pan. And here's my question: We have been to Mars. We have defined DNA. We have invented a Roomba. Why oh why are we still using this flytrap crap? Where is our better thing?
I just duked it out with some painter's tape, and then a vaccuum cord. I won.
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