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Wednesday, March 30, 2011

The Cupcake Lessons

After some tireless research in the laboratory I am ready to reveal my findings regarding the most effective ways to handle seeing Tom Cruise's Crazy Lady Grin:

1. If you see it unexpectedly in a magazine because there is no warning on the cover of the magazine you can throw the magazine down and dive under your covers until someone comes to help you
2. If you see it on a billboard or bus stop and you are trapped in your car you can either use your blue tooth to call 911 or you can start honking your horn really loud until someone comes to help you
3. Just because he looks like Ru Paul, Julie Newmar and a cougar rolled into one when he smiles does not mean that he can actually come to your house and kill you
4. Ask yourself, "Has my smile ever gotten away from me?" and then try to have some compassion (while continuing to focus on swiftly running away until someone can come to help you)
5. If you are able to stare at his very large and seemingly human eye teeth, you might see an interesting message---try to have fun with it!

With a little bit of luck and some formidable armor we will all be okay, Enid Incisor


The Zadge said...

I think his whole "braces when I'm 40" thing really pushed The Smile over the edge. Or maybe he, like "his" offspring Suri, sucked on a pacifier until he was 5.

Meg at the Members Lounge said...

His creepiness knows no bounds.

Cupcake Murphy said...

He's Fangy Fangerson.