Saturday, March 5, 2011
It's hard to know how or why or when (exactly) it happens, really, but there are moments in life that telegraph to me from some other point in time that --- it will all be okay.
Regardless of previous hardships and heartaches and unrelenting doubt.
Regardless of her and him and that and it.
Regardless---there are times when I feel empty and whole at the same time. Like maybe the sky seems especially blue and I remember that there have been so many times that I am not as hopeless as I may think.
It is these moments that I live for and that I wish I could run toward and JUMP ON with knees around and arms around---tackling to the ground. PLEASE MAKE ME KNOW THAT I WILL BE OKAY AND I WILL MAKE IT DOWN THIS CONFUSING, FULL PATH---UNSCATHED is what I want to say.
But the adventure is that I get these Calm Knowing Moments once every five hundred years approximately and so I am forever poised, in the midst of my working on my worry mind like a scholar, like Goodbye Mr. Chips, waiting and hoping and excited for those moments when I greet Absolute and Unencumbered Cozy and I know that the entire winding weird scary road trip is invariably worth it regardless of the fact that I need to avoid MSG even though it brings me so much Happy.
Oh go on with your bad self,
Duchess of Schmaltz