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Monday, March 14, 2011

Monday Judgements and Warnings

Helpful Hints:

1. Avoid passing gas in a job interview
2. Always and forever: rethink giggling
3. Remember that, although they are called sandals, if you wear them ON sand you will undoubtedly become weary
4. Nothing good ever came from a perm
5. If you decide that you want to be a person with no fear and you sit in front of the TV in order to catch of glimpse of Russell Brand smiling so you can exhibit your fearlessness of GIANT GUMS the size of Half Dome make sure that you do this before you have eaten

Stalwartly Yours,
Nancy Nausea

6 comments:

The Zadge said...

I would imagine that if I showed up for an interview in sandals, giggling my permed head off, flashing my heroin-induced Mr. Katy Perry Gums, the interviewer would kindly say, "Thank you, but Mr. Sheen has gotten the role."

Anonymous said...

BOYCOTT AMERICAN WOMEN
Why American men should boycott American women

http://boycottamericanwomen.blogspot.com/

I am an American man, and I have decided to boycott American women. In a nutshell, American women are the most likely to cheat on you, to divorce you, to get fat, to steal half of your money in the divorce courts, don’t know how to cook or clean, don’t want to have children, etc. Therefore, what intelligent man would want to get involved with American women?

American women are generally immature, selfish, extremely arrogant and self-centered, mentally unstable, irresponsible, and highly unchaste. The behavior of most American women is utterly disgusting, to say the least.

This blog is my attempt to explain why I feel American women are inferior to foreign women (non-American women), and why American men should boycott American women, and date/marry only foreign (non-American) women.

BOYCOTT AMERICAN WOMEN!

The Zadge said...

Oh look, John Rambo is back! Don't you love your faithful followers!

Audubon Ron said...

Number one always gets me. Thanks for the reminder.

steve said...

What's wrong with giggling?

Meg at the Members Lounge said...

I recently uncovered evidence of permed hair from the 90's. Both my sister and are rockin' the South Jersey look. Painful.