I'm going to let you in on a little secret. It is precious and well guarded and can only be spoken of in the dark of night. As a matter of fact, there are some nights that are not dark enough to utter this secret out loud and if that is the case then one must play it out with charades.
Here is the secret: (the only reason I can tell you the secret at this time is because I am not speaking it but I am writing it and the reason it is in capital letters is because it is the kind of secret that you yell at someone)
EVERY TIME YOU ACT LIKE AN ASSHOLE AND GIVE A BUS A HARD TIME OR YOU FLIP A BUS OFF OR YOU PRETEND LIKE YOU'RE GOING TO RAMROD A BUS OR YOU HONK AND ACT LIKE A BIG JERK JUST BECAUSE A BUS IS TRYING TO DO WHAT IT MUST DO IN ORDER TO SURVIVE---MERGE---OR YOU SNEER AT A BUS AND SEND IT MEAN AWFULNESS JUST BY YOUR RUDE GLANCE AND YOUR ICKY ENERGY OR YOU YELL AT A BUS JUST BECAUSE IT IS HUGE AND GALUMPHY---ANY AND EVERY TIME YOU COMMIT ONE OF THESE ACTS OF BUS TREASON ON THESE VALUABLE PEOPLE CARRIERS, A PIECE OF YOUR EARLOBE WILL DISINTEGRATE SO IF YOU DECIDE TO ENGAGE IN BUS TERROR YOU WILL EVENTUALLY LOSE YOUR EARS.
We're watching you,
National Coalition of Bus Advocates
Ear Trimming Division