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Monday, July 18, 2011

Monday Judgements and Warnings

Excuse me while I slip into my Harsh and Hideous Reality outfit but you need to be aware that when you gallop along in the Chips-Snacks-Crackers aisle in Ralph's like you're National Velvet and you are brazen enough to pick up a JUMBO BUILDING SIZED bag of TOSTITOS Hint of Lime tortilla chips and you get all uppity with your healthy kale-eating self and you think bull crap like:

Stone Ground White Corn!
Made with Whole Grains!
No Preservatives!
All Natural Ingredients!

is true and these mother fuckers of delight will not take you down faster than you can say MY ASS IS THE SIZE OF NEBRASKA then you are fooling yourself my friend and I have nothing further to say to you other than I'll see you in the baby carrot section.

Whoever said being thin is being happy, soldier?
Admiral Astounding Arse


The Zadge said...

I think the Admiral needs those lime flavored chips to battle the scurvy he will inevitably face on his next sea voyage.

Cupcake Murphy said...

I think there is more salt than a roast pork in those chips. Ahoy matey.

Hilary said...

Yee Haw!!!!!!