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Saturday, July 9, 2011

Saturday SlobberLove

Do NOT tell anyone this but sometimes, on a road trip, I long to see one of my beloved Runaway Truck Ramp signs because I feel a sort of camaraderie with them as if we are brethren---

GET OUTTA THE WAY!  SHE'S GONNA CAREEN AND CRASH---WATCH OUT! WHOA! SHE'S GOT NO BRAKES!!! WHAT THE HELL SET HER OFF THIS TIME? THOSE FUCKING ZIP LOCK BAGS THAT DON'T CLOSE? THE FACT THAT HER HUSBAND DOES NOT UNDERSTAND HOW TO DO LAUNDRY? WHY SOMEONE KEEPS PUTTING STINKY TRASH IN THE RECYLING BIN? RUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNN! SHE'S OUTTA CONTROL!!!! SHE DON'T MAKE NO SENSE!!!

And I picture myself installing a runaway truck ramp in my house ---a nice slide that would go directly from my bedroom balcony, down across the street I live on where I would soar like Willy Wonka across the neighborhood and be delivered softly to the nice cool grass park near the ocean.

Yours In Righteous Escape,
Alison Alone Time

7 comments:

The Zadge said...

I could use that ramp too, for a few days every month right before "Flo" comes to visit.

Hilary said...

Wow, you have the best imagination. Love it. Can see you flying down that ramp.

Twisted Susan said...

I want a flame thrower.

Meg at the Members Lounge said...

In my husband's home town way up in logging country New Hampshire, I would get the giggles every time we passed the runaway truck ramp, or rampe d'arrĂȘt d'urgence pour camions.

Joann Mannix said...

I'm on that ramp right now and oh, how I want to be deposited in the soft patch right next to the ocean.

MidLyfeMama said...

Zip lock bags that don't close. Exactly.

Ranchnotes said...

I really needed to read this today as i am completely out of control and somehow knowing that others share my misery makes me feel just a tiny bit better. So fucking sad.