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Friday, September 2, 2011

Friday Conclusion

This afternoon I was driving in a crowded part of Los Angeles talking on my cell phone.  I usually NEVER talk on my cell phone while I drive because I loathe people who talk on their cell phone when they drive or text and drive or read and drive or knit and drive. 

Just drive when you drive.  That's my motto.

But I made an exception today because I was listening to my best friend describe the details of a dream she had that involved a message she believed she received from my dead father and just as she was telling me that she knew in her soul it was not a bunch of hogwash because he was wearing his old Birkenstocks in the dream and I was about as riveted and misty as I could get a parakeet yellow mustang pulled up right beside me and a woman with fried blond hair and really big saggy boobs was hanging out the passenger side window screaming at me to HANG UP THE FUCKING PHONE! like she was one of those scary baboons and her frothing at the mouth cohort in the driver's seat was just as furious at me because they both started flipping me off and yelling about what a LOSER I was and just as their angry voices reached a crescendo of fury they revved their engine and screeched off leaving me in the dust, both their hands waving out the windows---him giving me the finger and her making a fist and I thought I wonder what they do when they see someone picking their nose and I felt really bad because although I'd never exhibited the Hell's Angel's behavior of these two unpredictable Enforcers I knew where they were coming from, the poor dears.  Which brings me to my point and my conclusion:

THERE ARE TIMES IN LIFE WHEN IT IS SIMPLY REFRESHING TO SEE THAT THERE ARE INDEED OTHER HUMAN BEINGS WHO ARE CAPABLE OF BLOWING THEIR GASKETS MORE EXPLOSIVELY AND RIDICULOUSLY THAN YOU

Peace out,
Beatrice Better

3 comments:

Twisted Susan said...

I prefer that my family are the only witnesses to my angry insane outbursts.

The Zadge said...

This describes every commute to and fro my job in D.C. for 10 years. And people wonder why I drink and wander the Rocky Mountains.

Cupcake Murphy said...

I still see these lunatics in my dreams I mean nightmares. Did I mention she was wearing a yellow halter top that as a slightly different shade of yellow than the car?