Saturday, November 5, 2011
I think I became brave because the part of my own true heart that had my best interests in mind knew that it might be fun for me to not be a shaky, suspicious scardy cat forever and that I shouldn't hole up in my warm, wonderful, predictable, safe, damn fine cave forever.
Even though I wanted to. Even though I still long for the comfort of Being All Alone and cozy--- free from some other asshole's input.
It is as if I pieced my life together against my will in that cave and I made a flimsy colorful mosaic that I knew would withstand the elements and I galumphed out into the open, petrified and full of longing and hope and desperation and practiced charm and I found someone, maybe the ONLY one who I felt kind of but not really sort of safe enough to follow and we took turns blaming each other and railing against all the crap that rose to the surface to be tended to in the presence of what we brewed up together which, on our (many) best days, we would describe as our good and mostly fearless love.
Yours In That Feeling Of Ain't It All a Crap Shoot,
Beulah Barbed Wire