I'm not sure if you can help me because I may not have long to live but I thought I'd write to you just in case you had some key information that might save me and my small family. What happened was I recently cooked a recipe from a cookbook that has VERY definite sections for each season---Spring. Summer. Fall. Winter.---and I guess I was feeling lawless because the other night I decided screw it and I whipped up a yummy Corn Chowder from the Summer section even though it is Fall thinking no one would ever notice but moments after my husband and I finished our bowls of smoky goodness a rock came hurling through our living room window with a note attached to it that said YOU DIE, SEASON IGNORER! and the next morning when I went to start the car there was an ominous message written in what appeared to be unsalted butter smeared across the windshield that said IF IT'S SUMMER WHY AREN'T YOU WEARING A BATHING SUIT YOU IDIOT? and after that I realized this might be serious and I filed a police report and we have set up a barricade to protect ourselves from the hand grenades but we wanted to know---is there any national protection from this Seasonal Recipe Mafia or should we just consider ourselves goners?
---Petrified and Panting in Puyallup