ValenTyne Daly = Good, True

I saw a bumper sticker today that said:

THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE AREN'T THINGS

Clever. Although dangerously inaccurate. I wonder if the person with that bumper sticker has ever seen, tasted or used any of the following:

1. The remote control
2. 98% of the inventory in Smart & Final
3. A new bath mat
4. Diet Peach Snapple
5. Cloth napkins
6. Hydrangea bouquets
7. Twinings Orange Pekoe
8. Netflix (when managed properly)
9. Evenly burning lilac smelling candles
10. 100% cotton socks that fit perfectly
11. Neutrogena face soap
12. Girard's Champagne salad dressing
13. Digital cameras
14. Sven clogs
15. Rugs that pull rooms together
16. Sharpies
17. Index cards
18. The Naked Bee Body Lotion
18. Cream colored table cloths
19. Turtlenecks that neither choke nor hang too loosely
20. Good nail clippers
21. Harpers Magazine
22. Wall calenders with photographs of National Parks
23. Tents that don't leak when it rains
24. Stuart Weitzman boots
25. Q-tips

I suppose I could live without these items but life would be a lot more drudgey and depressing. I may be totally out of it but I can't think of anything more satisfying that knowing for sure that the most reliable and sturdy zip locks are Glad by far. Now if I were not a Thing Person how would I know that? I wouldn't. So, what have we learned today? We have learned that there should be a new bumper sticker that should say:

THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE ARE USUALLY FOR SALE AT ANTHROPOLOGIE OR VONS OR MARSHALLS OR PATAGONIA OR RITE-AID OR ON MONTANA AVENUE OR IF YOU HAVE A MONTH OFF AND THE PATIENCE OF A BRAIN SURGEON AND YOUR MARRIAGE IS ROCK SOLID---IKEA AND ROSS

Sincerely,
Mayor of Non-Generic Tylenol