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Monday, June 13, 2011

Monday Judgements and Warnings

Do you think the person who decided on the amount of things that make up an actual serving size was a small muscular loin cloth wearing tribesman who lives in the Amazon forest and who is the type of eater/grazer who has little snacks throughout the day and who lives on branches and leaves and the occasional Tsetse fly dropping and who takes three Total-Evacuation bowel movements before noon JUST BECAUSE HE CAN without needing to drink that scary tea that blasts out your insides like so much unkind dynamite?

And if you do indeed know that this is the person/culprit who made decisions like five teeny pita chips with sea salt make up a serving would you be so kind as to provide me with his email address so that I might write to him and ask him what kind of jackass research methods he used?

Much obliged,
Henrietta Hungry

4 comments:

Rural Rambler said...

Ummm I don't know about the serving sizes of the tribesman in the the Amazon, nor the jackassed research methods. BUTT, as far as the three Total-Evacuation bowel movements before noon all I can say is MiraLAX. No unkind blasts.

Signed,
One Thankful Person

Ranchnotes said...

Oh I couldn't hear you because I was eating my 8 Cheez-Its and now I am so full.

Cupcake Murphy said...

My dear old dad used to gorge on Cheez-Its the way vegetarians eat swiss chard. And there was something I always admired about that.

foolery said...

I want more than his e-mail address. I want to see his secret stash of Bugles and Froot Loops.