I live on a lovely little one way ramp/autobahney/street near the ocean that people drive up not so much like cars but rockets. BLAST OFF!!!! HERE I GO UP THIS ONE WAY STREET ON MY WAY TO THE OTHER STREET!!!!!! people shriek as they catapult toward the seashore. YIPPEEE!!!!!! I'M ALMOST THERE!!! I HOPE I DON'T KILL SOMEONE BUT ON SECOND THOUGHT WHO CARES I'M ALMOST AT THE BEACH!!!!!!!!! they holler with their towels and blankets in tow.
Occasionally, there is a wayward driver who makes the wrong turn and charges back, the other way: THE WRONG WAY without knowing. This happened yesterday afternoon as I was standing on my porch wondering about gluten. Suddenly I glanced to my left and I saw a very happy couple driving FULL THROTTLE AND WITH GLEE toward their certain death.
"WOOOOOHOOOOOOOO!!! WE'RE ALMOST AT THE BEACH WHICH WAY'S THE BEACH???!!," I imagined them shrieking.
And just as I imagined that and was about to turn away and hope for the best something took me over and I started waving my hands in a fairly (but not panicky) urgent way to let this Happy Clueless Couple know that they were, perhaps, driving headlong into the bowels of death. And just as I did this I saw another person, a pedestrian at the bottom of the ramp, THROW HIMSELF into the middle of the street as if to say to the Happy Clueless Couple STOP YOU ARE GOING THE WRONG WAY! and if that was not enough there was also another person walking her dog way way way across the street who started to wave her hands in a WATCH OUT HAPPY CLUELESS COUPLE AND EVERYONE WHO IS TRYING TO WARN THEM! way and if she could I know she would have laid herself down like a barricade to protect everyone from harm.
And then, after I'd run down the street to ensure the well being of the Happy Clueless Couple in order to make sure that everyone within miles and miles was safe, I saw them make the U-turn of a lifetime and scurry on their giddy way toward the sand COMPLETELY OBLIVIOUS TO ALL OF OUR HARD EARNED HONOR and as Cooper and I made our way back to our perch on our ramp where occasionally wayward people drive the wrong way I thought I hope I can see more moments like this when odd and colorful strangers band together in order to protect each other from harm so we might all be that much safer.
I Beg Your Pardon I Never Promised You a Rose Garden,