This morning, when I was watching the Today Show, I saw an interview with a boy named Colton Burpo who wrote a book titled, Heaven Is For Real, about how he went to heaven. And it is for real. And in the interview he regaled everyone with all the incredible details about how he walked around heaven and how he met the lord (I mean hot damn, right?) and how he is going to write another book. And as I listened to him I wondered if you think it would be okay to ask little Colton why, if he spent so much time shufflin' around the pearly gates in his Vans, did he not make a pit stop at the Identity Department in order to figure out what IN THE HELL he did to earn the last name of BURPO or do you think any poking around in this area will result in Saint El Burpito unleashing an army of fiery chariots on me?
---Squinty Eyed with Suspicion in Syracuse