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Monday, December 20, 2010

Monday Judgements and Warnings

This morning I had the misfortune of seeing a LIFESTYLE EXPERT spout various platitudes about sponges and blouses and gift buying and belts and bangs on the Today Show and I couldn't help but notice that she was wearing a dress that one might describe as: 

GHASTLY
or
THE COLOR AND PATTERN THAT REPRESENTS ALL THAT IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD
or
HIDEOUS MULTIPLIED BY INFINITY
or
INTENSE NAUSEA

And I thought she should keep her trap shut when it comes to anything expert.

So you need to keep an eye out for this bag of hot air and her expert suggestions because if she is such an expert and she can swoop into your relatively peaceful and innocent existence and tell you what you need to change to be happier and better then why in the name of all that is holy is she wearing something that resembles the holocaust as a frock? 

Keep your eyes down and run fast,
Sergeant Seriousness
First in Command, Phony Patrol

5 comments:

The Zadge said...

Not many people can sport "Intense Nausea" with any success.

claudia said...

I had to go and give blood this morning so my doctor knows what I got going on inside of me, so I missed the Today Show altogether. Man, I really needed something to laugh about this morning. Sorry I missed it.

Twisted Susan said...

I've seen those holocaust frocks and you're right, they're awful.

Meg at the Members Lounge said...

Saw it. Brown from JC Penney. I could hardly believe she owned up to that, because after that, I heard that segment flush itself down you know where.

patti said...

Now I see part of what I'm missing out on having no TV to watch.