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Monday, November 9, 2009

Monday Judgements and Warnings

Today, I read the following heart wrenching headline on Yahoo and I have not been able to stop sobbing since because it is SO SAD. Here. I've cut and pasted the headline so you can read it but first I'll wait for you to go get several decorative boxes of Kleenex...OK. I feel that you are ready. Here goes. Make sure you are sitting down and prepare yourself. Read it and weep:

Vick Not Happy As An Eagles Player

Isn't that the SADDEST thing you've ever read? That poor guy is not happy as an Eagle. I can't say it without tearing up. Well, seeing as I am a TAKE ACTION kind of person I've thought of several things Michael Vick might do to find more fulfillment:

Choice #1: HUMAN SUPPOSITORY FOR RUSH LIMBAUGH'S BUTT

Choice #2: THE PERSON IN CHARGE OF FEEDING DAVID HASSELHOFF HAMBURGERS WHEN HE GOES ON A BENDER

Choice #3: GREAT WHITE SHARK MASSEUSE

Choice #4: JAMIE LEE CURTIS'S PERSONAL TOILET PLUNGER

Yours in hopeful prayer,
Kirk the Continually Perplexed Bloodhound

9 comments:

TWISTED SUSAN said...

What would I do without you to brighten up my day and make me LOL?
Sh*t, did I just write LOL?
Argh, I did it again.

Sharon said...

I think he should work with Animal Cops Detroit.

The Zadge said...

How about being Ann Coulter's BFF?

linlah said...

Oh yes I was deeply saddened by the news. Poor boy, I wish to be so unfortunate. Vick should take any of your options because I never would and you know my policy on NEVER.

patti said...

vick in German is a really, really bad word. Actually, it's vicken, vick is just a conjugation.

beth said...

He just needs to be happy he got a second chance after what he did....

rockle said...

As an Eagles fan (there, I said it!), I thoroughly and completely approve and agree with your assessment. You win whatever is left of Andy Reid's hoagie after his last press conference.

Where the Fur Flies said...

Personally, I think he should be smothered in honey and staked on top of a red ant hill.

Vick's happiness? Not one of my top priorities. But I did very much enjoy your take on it...

Leah Rubin said...

You came up with some real winners-- I am not worthy to compete! Great job!