Sometimes we have to call a locksmith in order to open the bathroom door because he spends hours staring at himself in the mirror gazing into his own eyes and commenting on his timeless beauty.
"Oh go screw yourselves!" he barks, when we beg him to spend two minutes talking about anything other than his 7 For All Mankind jean collection. "If you were this fresh faced and gorgeous you'd do the same thing."
Then he orders us to go get him another pack of American Spirits.